A Lesson in Surrender

Alexis Rae Baker

Dear Reader, 

My husband and I have been looking for an apartment for what seems like forever. Recently we found ourselves in the unfortunate position of being scammed. Thankfully we figured it out before anything too bad happened, but it did get me questioning why exactly this happened in the first place.

I’m a strong believer that we attract our experiences into our lives and to find myself in the position of dealing with a scammer, who is trying to profit off my feeling of desperation, angered me to the point of tears. Not everyone is as fortunate as I am. Given the intelligence of this scammer, I wouldn’t be surprised if the majority found themselves out of a couple of thousand dollars, or as victims of identity theft. 

My desperation to find a good home for my family, and my desire for a quick turnaround without a huge cost, created this scenario. If I wasn’t careful, I easily could have found myself much worse off than I am now. However, is it realistic to never feel desperate again? No, I’m always going to want better for myself and for my family. It’s likely that, at some point, things won’t work out the way that I want them to and I’ll feel compelled to push life in the way I want it to go. Unfortunately, force is rarely, if ever, the solution.

Life has a way of working out for us, but when we force it we usually find ourselves worse off than before, wondering what we did wrong. Finding the right path is an oddly challenging thing to do, in fact, the path usually finds us instead. So, while we can know the steps, we can’t always know if, or when, they will work for us.

Finding a home seems fairly simple; search for available apartments or houses, apply or make an offer, reach an agreement, and voila. However, while simple on the surface, each of these steps can be hindered by outside forces. No matter how much you want it, you cannot make your dream home available at this exact moment. No matter how good your application is, you cannot guarantee that someone will rent to you. Similarly, things can happen in life that prevent you from moving at all, such as losing a job.

So much about any given situation is outside of our control, so much so that we can find ourselves drowning in the uncertainty and frustration of the moment. Pushing for change seems like the best option, but we can’t control what other people are going to do, all we can control is how we react. By surrendering my frustration I can feel better about my situation right now. By trusting that life is working out for the best, I can approach my situation with more hope and patience than I would have otherwise. Through a hopeful approach, my chances of making a good impression, and finding a good place, go up.

Life is constantly shifting, tomorrow there may be an opportunity that I didn’t have today. Perhaps, by waiting a week, I’ll find a better apartment than I could have if I pushed for it today. We cannot know how things will play out, but we can control how we feel now. And, in the end, the feeling that things are okay is what we’re aiming for anyway.

My family doesn’t have to move to be happy, we can be happy now. So, while we can always strive for more, remember to take time to ease the pressure you’ve placed on yourself. You don’t have to figure it all out today, and that’s okay. Let life work itself out and soon enough things will shift, naturally, toward your desired result.

Breathe, it will all be okay.

Best wishes and good luck,

~ Lexis

Lexis is Alexis Rae Baker. She writes from her home in Olympia.   Got a question about life, relationships, spirit?  Visit her at lexisrae.com or write to Lexis at  Lexis@theJOLTnews.com