Advice from a Lexis

Change is coming too slowly


Dear Lexis,

I feel like I’m doing everything right but nothing is changing. I’ve been utilizing affirmations, meditating, and doing what I can to monitor and change my thoughts.

Despite all this effort, I’m not noticing any difference in my life. Am I doing something wrong? Do these really work for everyone or is it possible that I’m the exception?



Dear Confused,

I understand your frustration. Change can be a challenge for all of us, especially when we really want something.

Unfortunately, or perhaps, fortunately, change never happens overnight. Sometimes it seems like it does, particularly in regard to unwanted change, but every change happens over time. And while I will not say that it’s impossible to change your life in a very short period of time, we often won’t allow true change if it comes too easily. So, instead of seeing drastic, sudden shifts, most change occurs in mundane ways, only becoming visible in retrospect.

In many ways, this delay is actually fun. Looking back at your life after two months of work and realizing that the desired shift happened without you even noticing. It’s kind of like receiving a gift, a pleasant surprise, one that you feel you deserve and can be proud of.  This retrospective realization also provides evidence that your efforts aren’t in vain, and it indicates lasting effects.

The best methods for achieving these results are meditation, affirmations, and thought monitoring. You’re doing everything right and I have no doubt that continued efforts will result in your desired change in time. Trust the process and you will get there.

That being said, at times, our desire to achieve a goal can hold us back. By focusing on how we haven’t achieved the desired result, we may be preventing said result at the same time. It’s an odd truth but focusing on where we are, or were, more often than not prevents us from achieving our desired goals. Something about holding on to the present reality, or the past, causes our bodies and minds to cling to the present results with stalwart persistence.

Something about focusing on the problem prevents us from seeing the solution, and therefore the results. When we look at where we are, and how much that sucks, we tend to feel angry, depressed, or hopeless. All of these emotions generally destroy motivation and prevent, or mitigate, improvements made through effort. Abraham Hicks describes this concept as stopping part way to your destination because you no longer believe you can reach the goal. We all know that you can drive from Washington to Florida, but if you tried and continued to think that you are stuck in Washington and that Florida is an impossible dream, it wouldn’t take long for you to turn around and go back home.

To some degree, you have to trust that your efforts will pay off. You have to know that you will eventually reach your destination and allow your mind to release the doubt. Both Florida and Washington are possible, but you only have proof of one. It’s harder to trust in a future you haven’t seen, but that trust is a vital step in achieving your dream.

Doubt is your biggest enemy right now. It’s the fear that you can’t reach your goal that keeps you focused on your perceived lack of progress. Release the fear, let the focus on your present situation ease, and one day soon you will be surprised by the progress you’ve made.  Keep taking the steps and you will reach your goal. Trust the process and you will achieve your desires.

Good luck and best wishes,


Lexis is Alexis Rae Baker, who writes from her home in Olympia.  What would you like to ask her to comment about?  Write to her at 


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