How to overcome the fears that hold you back

Alexis Rae Baker

Dear Lexis,

I’ve been trying to start a business for years but, whenever I think about working on it, I find myself exhausted and depressed. I know I should work, I know I should try to power through, but I can’t seem to bring myself to actually act. I don’t understand why this is happening; do you have any insights or advice?

          ~ Lost

Dear Lost,

I completely relate. Writing has been a passion of mine since I was old enough to write. I have notebooks full of story plot lines dating back decades. However, despite this continuing interest in writing fiction, I have only written one fiction book, one that I don’t even advertise because I want to rewrite it first.

I’ve asked myself why I haven’t written more, and why I haven’t put my work out there for people to read. I’m an extremely fast writer and can knock out a book in a month if I want to, but five years after the first, I’m still replaying plot lines in my head trying to make the story perfect before getting down on paper.

When it comes down to it, the reason I haven’t done more is fear. My guess is your delays are also due to fear. 

Fears of rejection, of judgment and of not being good enough, all plague and paralyze me at times.  Perhaps it’s not common for advice columnists to say such things, but there are things I’m still working on too; there always will be.

The funny part is, I actually know how to change these issues and still haven’t. Perhaps this is a golden opportunity for us both to put in the work and start the journey toward our success once more. It’s time for us to utilize kinesthesiology, or the Psych K methods.

I thank Rob Williams and Bruce Lipton for this method. It’s simple and highly effective.

1. Consider the beliefs or fears you want to change

Figuring out what you are really afraid of is step one. In my case, it’s a very specific scenario where people belittle and berate me because they think my work is unimaginative, childish, or stupid. I worry that my reputation will be destroyed and that, because of the destruction, any chance of creating the life I want will be lost.

Logically, I know the world is a big place and that such a thing is virtually impossible, but fear isn’t necessarily a rational thing.

So, consider for a moment your fear. What scenario comes to mind when you ask yourself why you haven’t acted yet?

2. Create an appropriate affirmation

Take your fear and flip it. Essentially, look at that image and figure out what words contradict the ideas in your mind. An example from my own scenario would be: “I’m a talented writer and people want to read what I write” or “I have a unique perspective that people find interesting and entertaining”.

In my case, these statements are reinforced by comments I’ve actually received but, despite the praise, I still find it hard to allow such words to guide my behavior. It’s amazing how one negative comment can so often undermine a slew of positive ones.

3. Close your eyes and cross your arms and legs

Assuming you’re ready to set these new affirmations within your mind, sit down and close your eyes. Take three deep breaths and allow your body to relax for a few moments.

Cross your dominant arm over your non-dominant, flip your hands, and clasp your hands together (or if that’s difficult, merely crossing your arms generally does the trick). I encourage you to cross your legs in a similar fashion, but that’s your choice to make.

4. Repeat your affirmation

Finally, recall the affirmative phrase you have chosen over and over, acknowledging the objections that pop up. Thank the objections for trying to protect you and then release them with a breath before repeating the affirmation again. Once the objections stop popping up, take three deep breaths and return to normal daily activity as you see fit.

With these steps, you can quickly reprogram your mind. The basic idea is that you interrupt your usual mental programming by utilizing your body in an uncommon way. With this disruption, your mind is now open to new information because it doesn’t know what to do with this behavior. It’s a strange and powerful mind hack.

So, grab a seat and try your hand. Even if you find the methods crazy, you really have nothing to lose. Be crazy for a few minutes and see what kinds of results you can get.

Best of luck.

          ~ Lexis

Lexis is Alexis Baker, who writes from her home in Olympia.  What would you like to ask her to comment about?  Write to her at Lexis@theJOLTnews.com