Dear Lexis,
My husband recently lost his job and I find myself worried about our financial situation. We have enough savings to get by for a while but I still find myself constantly worried. What suggestions do you have to help us get through this time of struggle?
Thanks,
~ Unemployed
Dear Unemployed,
I understand how scary it can be to face an uncertain future. Not knowing what tomorrow holds can be a huge stressor and it sucks that you have to deal with this. I can certainly relate to this concern as an individual who has pursued a nontraditional path to financial well-being. Ironically, my advice in this situation differs from my advice the majority of the time because it centers around focusing on the reality of the situation rather than the projection.
As a rule of thumb, it’s best to focus on what you want rather than the reality. The reason why you should focus on the dream is that it preps your mind to recognize potential opportunities you would otherwise miss. And while a focus on a positive result could aid you, your trepidation over the future prevents a more positive focus right now.
For you, the present presents as better, so recognition of your current circumstances will provide you with more relief than anything else.
My husband and I recently found ourselves in a similar situation. Plenty of money to cover our costs for a good long while, but we are both still worried about what tomorrow might bring. The idea of trying to make ends meet, or having to sacrifice something we care about to ensure we had enough, was causing unnecessary stress and conflict. And while I can’t say that worry is entirely unwarranted, we were in no immediate trouble.
It was odd to me that I had such a hard time keeping that truth in mind. It’s a challenge to remember that tomorrow could be anything, that by the time we needed to make a change, we could be living in a whole new set of life circumstances. However, by focusing on what tomorrow might bring, we discovered that we were creating an undue struggle for ourselves and our relationship. Money is important, yes, but relationships are far more important.
So, while there are good reasons for your focus on solutions, make sure you keep it in check. If you find yourself stressed, shift your focus back to the present moment. Do you have enough right now to get by? Are you going to face any kind of repercussion in the next 24 hours? Are you currently suffering due to your financial situation?
If you do discover that you’re facing a problem, by all means, do what you can to fix it, but otherwise, try to take your mind off your worries otherwise. Often times the solutions won’t come if we keep trying to force them along; sometimes you need to give yourself space to process the situation with your subconscious mind instead. Focus on the present and then focus on something positive, like a laughing baby. You’ll be surprised by how quickly things can shift again and you’ll be grateful that you didn’t waste all that time freaking out about a future that never came.
Best wishes and good luck,
~ Lexis
Editor's Note: Lexis' comments a few months ago are relevant here, too. See "How does “hope” -- that things will work out for the best -- work in real life?"
Alexis Baker writes from her home in Olympia. Write to her at Lexis@theJOLTnews.com
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