An alternative to struggling

We can't control the circumstance, but we can control our reaction to it.

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Dear Readers,

I’ve been a bit obsessed lately with trying to make a decent living place for my future newborn, which is interesting because I’ve always been a “go with the flow” kind of person.

Something about pregnancy really does change your reactions, sometimes for the worse. Because of this shift in emotion, I’ve been far more anxious and stressed out, which makes me worry about the stress harming the baby, which makes me more stressed out and anxious. So, when I got a very potent reminder about the power of surrender this week, I felt that it couldn’t have come at a better time.

I’d been having a supremely sucky day. I’d been crying on and off for hours, feeling depressed, and every little thing seemed to set me off again. Perhaps irritated by my extreme emotions, my husband suggested I take a nap; I said I should meditate. Fortunately, this time around I wound up taking my own advice and spent some time meditating and followed that up with a few Abraham Hicks’ YouTube videos (I enjoy Abraham’s focused messages. They are simple to understand; implementing such advice is a different challenge altogether).

One particular video caught my attention. Esther Hicks, struggling with her to-do list, received an idea to make lists, one for her to do and one for the universe. She took 10 things and put them on her list and then she wrote everything else on the universe’s list (about 3x as many). After finishing that, she went about her day and tried to get everything on her list done. She managed about 6 of the 10 and she was proud of herself, and justly so, but when she looked at the universe’s list, she discovered that the universe had done significantly more.

Now, I don’t know how effective this plan is. It can certainly be a challenge to let go of things and trust that they will take care of themselves, but I was game to give it a try. In the privacy of my own mind I could test this out and see what happened without risking anything.

I don’t tend to have very long lists and, for the most part, they are abstract, so I just put two things on my list and then offered the rest up to the universe to figure out. After I did this, I felt amazingly better, which to me was very much a win.

My husband, who happened to be in the room while I was watching this video, started a conversation with me on the subject and mentioned a friend of his that he wished would reach out to him. I told him that we can’t control the behavior of other people but that, maybe, he should offer that up to the universe too.

When morning arrived the next day, I offered my list to the universe again and felt that same lightening that I’d felt the first time and went about my day. We’ve had quite a bit of manual labor to do lately, so we went about doing our tasks and I forgot all about our conversation, the video, and even the practice.

Hours later, we returned to our room and discovered a text waiting on my husband’s phone, a text from the friend that he’d wanted to talk to. My reaction was nothing special, but when he mentioned the practice of offering his request to the universe I couldn’t help but smile. I’d forgotten all about it, but here, right in front of me was evidence that this practice works, and works quickly.

I know that we tend to want to hold onto control in our lives so that we can guide the outcomes we want. I certainly relate to this; for weeks I’ve been trying to force the world to comply with my wishes, but I find myself no better off. From a place of anxiety and stress, I try to force results again and I discover I’m less capable of steering the desired result at all. It’s a losing cycle.

So, if I can’t win with force or control, and all I wind up with is more stress and anxiety, why not surrender my desire to the universe? At least that way I feel better. Now, don’t get me wrong, if you do have a path to the outcome you want, by all means take action, but if you find yourself up the creek without a paddle, now might be the time to raise your hands and enjoy the ride.

Happy travels,

          ~ Lexis

Lexis is Alexis Rae Baker, who writes from her home in Olympia.  What would you like to ask her to comment about?  Write to her at Lexis@theJOLTnews.com