If you give your child a planner ... they'll probably lose it

Shannon Sankstone

True story: I was recently searching for a photo of a messy backpack or locker. None compared to what I saw in my teaching career. My next attempt involved an image generator, and the images came back with organized pencils. Organized pencils! What middle school has organized pencils? 

And messy backpacks aren’t the only organizing problems teachers see in students, typically developing or students with disabilities. Academic struggles don’t always come from the curriculum, they come from everything around it: starting homework, remembering assignments, staying focused, managing frustration, getting out the door on time.   

These are problems of executive functioning (EF) skills, and impact children with disabilities at a far greater frequency and severity than neurotypical children. 

Executive what? 

Executive functioning is a set of mental skills that help us manage time, stay organized, control impulses, remember details, and manage emotions. Think of it as the brain’s command center handling planning, shifting between tasks, and managing responses to stress or distraction. 

There are 11 core executive functioning skills: 

• Response inhibition (impulse control) 

• Working memory 

• Emotional control 

• Flexibility 

• Sustained attention 

• Task initiation (starting tasks) 

• Planning and prioritization 

• Organization 

• Time management 

• Goal-directed persistence 

• Metacognition 

(This column would be a book if I were to define and explain each here. So I have a handy list of definitions.)

Executive functioning skills.

Courtesy of Shannon Sankstone

Executive functioning skills.

Courtesy of Shannon Sankstone

These skills develop gradually, and many students, especially those with ADHD, autism, learning disabilities, or trauma histories, experience delays or deficits that make school much harder than it appears from the outside. 

What it looks like 

When a child struggles with EF skills, it might look like: 

• Homework always missing or crumpled in the backpack 

• Meltdowns over small changes 

• Trouble getting started, even on simple assignments 

• Constantly losing things 

• Seeming “lazy” or “unmotivated” 

Every child wants to do well, but some don’t yet have the internal systems to make it happen. And while teachers may assign consequences for missing work or late arrivals, those strategies rarely teach the skills needed to change the behavior. 

Why parents should care 

When EF deficits go unrecognized, kids are often punished for behaviors they can’t control. That disconnect between what a child is capable of and what they’re expected to do can erode self-esteem and damage trust between families and schools. 

Executive functioning skills can be taught. And with the right support, students can build systems that help them succeed, both in school and life. 

Advocacy strategy: name and frame 

If your child is struggling, the first advocacy step is to name what you’re seeing clearly and without shame. Avoid language like “lazy” or “defiant.” Instead, describe the patterns and the impact. For example: 

“My child struggles to begin multi-step assignments independently and frequently forgets materials. This impacts their grades and stress levels.” 

Then, frame this as a skills-based need, not a character flaw. Ask the school: 

• Has my child been assessed for executive functioning needs? 

• Can we consider goals or accommodations related to task initiation, organization, or emotional regulation? 

• What supports are available to build these skills? 

This language shifts the conversation from punishment to support, and opens the door for Individualized Education Program goals, 504 Plan accommodations or targeted interventions.  

The online oracle says ...

If you’re not sure how to describe what you’re seeing, or what to ask for, our digital daddy has some pretty good responses with shorter prompts. Try prompts like: 

Help me write an email to my child’s teacher about executive functioning concerns. I’m noticing (behavior, issue). Make sure to frame this as a skills deficit and suggestions for support. 
Give me a list of accommodations for a student who has trouble starting tasks. 
What are IEP goals for (EF skill) time management for a (grade) student with a diagnosis of (diagnosis) who is exhibiting (behaviors) and is academically (description)? 

Next week 

What does an executive have to do with homework? 

This column is written by Shannon Sankstone, she is an Olympia-based special education advocate and the owner of Advocacy Unlocked. She may be reached at ShannonSankstone@theJOLTnews.com.