I have been talking to my friends and family about the younger generation recently and we all agreed we don’t have a clue what is going on. Teenagers and even younger kids, car-jacking Kias and calling themselves Kia Kids.
Kids deliberating running down people with stolen cars. Kids killing classmates, shooting into crowds, killing and maiming total strangers.
Kids!
When my generation was younger our idea of pranks was calling strangers and asking them if their refrigerator was running – and if they answered yes, we would tell them they had better catch it. Some of us secretly listened in on party-line phone conversations.
Stealing usually consisted of sneaking a piece of bubble gum or candy at the corner store. Some kids in high school did take someone’s car (usually their parents) for a joy ride and there were parties where booze could be had when somebody’s parents were out of town. Alcohol was the drug of choice for most of us back in the day.
None of my friends even smoked pot, although we probably all knew someone who did. Our big “sin” was sneaking cigarettes from our parents’ pack.
There were the usual cliques in high school but I don’t remember seeing or hearing about bullying, although it could have taken place outside my sphere.
But let me be clear. There were always consequences for our behavior if we were caught…and we usually were.
Contrary to what constitutes for popular belief these days, we were not all beat with belts or wooden spoons. Privileges were often taken away, and extra chores or homework was assigned. If I whined or complained, extended punishment time could come my way.
We had chores and some of us received an allowance and some didn’t. We had curfews, boundaries, and limits that we could push at our own peril. But we always knew there would be consequences.
The one line you never crossed in our household was to lie. That single action would result in a punishment so horrible I couldn’t even envision it. I told one and I will never forget the look on my mother’s face. She was crushed when I confessed to ditching high school and lying about it one day.
And I will never forget that consequence. Because I could have been suspended if she didn’t cover for me, she felt she had to lie to the principle. I had placed her in that position, but the lesson learned was one I never forgot…the ripple effect one single lie could cause.
She got over it, but I never did and it was the one rule I brought into my children’s lives. Whatever you think the consequence will be if you tell the truth, it will be 1000 times worse if you lie to me. Of course, they all tried from time to time, but none of them was any good at it, so it was never a common practice, and they never tried it for big things, only little stupid actions.
Manners were taught from birth and established the foundation for our values later in life. It wasn’t just about opening the door for someone. It was showing respect and caring. It showed our elders they mattered, whether we knew them or not. It was called common courtesy and it went hand in hand with common sense.
Today, I hear a lot about “earning respect,” from the younger set. One does not receive respect simply because you are a family member, teacher, or employer.
I think I might understand where this is coming from. When the nation's role models, be they politicians, sports figures, or entertainers, are blatantly corrupt and still put forth as someone to be admired, I too feel respect must be earned.
If the afore mentioned idols can buy or bully their way out of consequences, is it any wonder why kids might think the same way, despite their inappropriate behavior? Mom and Dad will fix it, and if they can’t, we will go to the grandparents. Boundaries have become blurred, lines are crossed, and harm is done to innocents without any repercussions.
“My kid is a good kid,” is heard far and near. Wake up parents - there is a major difference between supporting and enabling.
The reality is that life is not fair. Everyone that tries, does not come in at first place and receive a ribbon or trophy.
Everyone does not win the promotion they deserve, get the job they want, or the house they cannot afford.
Not everyone can go to the college of their choice, have a desired child, or drive the car of their dreams, just because they want it.
If you never learn to deal with the reality, the fantasy may cost you more than you ever thought possible.
Kathleen Anderson writes this column each week from her home in Olympia. Contact her at kathleen@theJOLTnews.com or post your comment below.
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AugieH
Well written! Well done!
When I was growing up in the late 50s and early 60s, you couldn't have made up the stories you hear about child predators today. Parenting has failed. What will it be like 25 years from now? In a way, I'm grateful I likely won't be around to see it.
Wednesday, February 21 Report this
PhyllisBooth
The boomer generation has left the younger generation with very little. This author could learn a lot by listening to today's youth instead of writing judgmental articles. Phyllis Booth, age 63 and supporter and sympathetic to the plight of today's youth and very ashamed of the greedy selfish boomers.
Thursday, February 22 Report this
KerriG
What I worry about with the younger generation is that they may not realize the crimes they commit today may follow them for the rest of their lives. Computers have long memorizes. If they are convicted of a felony at 18 there are so many jobs out there they can not get. Several times I have worked in the school system which is a major employer in most cities. The school system does a criminal background check on all its application. The list of crimes they check on is extensive. My application had an entire page that listed many crimes I had to state I had never been convicted of. (Not a problem for me. )
A felony can follow them if they apply for collage aid, housing, government jobs, and many more areas of life.
Thursday, February 22 Report this
Hmoats
https://www.kuow.org/stories/the-kia-boy-and-me
Thursday, February 22 Report this
GinnyAnn
What a dream life you had as a child. You were so unaware of your classmates' miserable homelives and being bullied in school. You don't remember the fights in the playground or the lonely kid left alone in the classroom. Back in the '50's we had juvenile delinquents, unwed mothers, foster kids, and stranger danger, but it was whispered about. This wasn't on the nightly news for us to hear about every single day. If our classmates broke into the local clothing store and took off with a new wardrobe, the Sheriff hushed it up because the kids "came from a good home." When the mixed race kid from a poor home was stopped by the Sheriff for simply walking along the road at night, it was splashed over the front page of the local rag as if he'd been a "prowler." I'm speaking from personal knowledge from my hometown here in Washington state. You were protected somehow from the reality of life in the '50's and '60's. We had our share of bad things happening, it simply wasn't shown on TV or "social media" as blatantly as it is now. I'm not talking about mass shootings, which are horrendous and out of control. I'm simply remembering the common unhappiness that was a part of the good old days along with the good.
Friday, February 23 Report this
Ribbieb
The world has changed since we boomers were children. You can't parents to raise children the way we were raised. We need to recognize the values and challenges of multiple generations and connect to advance together.
Sunday, February 25 Report this
TurdFerguson
Here's a clue: social media, or as it should really be called, anti-social media. It may not be a cause, but it is a facilitator and an accelerant.
Tuesday, February 27 Report this
Terrilovesanimals
Spot on! All the entitlements and ease of getting or acquiring things leaves a person without that much needed sense of accomplishment or the true feeling of self worth.
Friday, March 8 Report this