Dear Lexis,
I find myself depressed lately. I look at the lives of all my friends, and while I feel like I have most of the same things, for some reason, I just can’t seem to find the joy that they seem to have. What would you suggest I do?
Thanks,
~Troubled in Tumwater
Dear TT,
I understand what you’re going through, and I can relate. It can be so easy to feel blue when our world is filled with reminders of all the things we don’t have. The funny part of it all is that the reminders are just a façade.
Social media and TV tell us that we won’t be happy until we have this or buy that. In addition, all of our friends post the most splendid moments of their lives for us to see, presenting a false image that everything is always sunshine and rainbows for them. And, funnily enough, even if you do have that friend who posts their troubles, it’s hard not to look at their posts as attention-seeking or whiney.
It can be hard to distinguish what’s true from what’s false in this age of technology. We’re inundated in a world of perfection, and when our lives don’t measure up, we feel like failures. Avoiding the news and social media can help balance our expectations, but avoiding these sources can come at a cost. By avoiding television, we may feel better, but we can also have a harder time fitting into the world around us (where connectedness and technology are the norms).
It sounds like this virtual perfection may be an aspect of your depression, but I know that the idea of giving up all social media, TV, or [national] news can fill people with a strong sense of dread. So, rather than asking you to refrain entirely, instead I suggest you remind yourself regularly that everyone faces struggle.
Struggle is, in fact, one of the great gifts of life (although it doesn’t often feel like it). Through struggle, we find clarity about what we want and we find new endeavors to pursue. By recognizing something that we hope to change, we find ourselves with the chance to solve a new problem and expand our minds and lives.
Recognize that even if someone else isn’t struggling in the same way you are, they are not immune to struggle. While they might be in a high moment right now, that does not mean their lives are perfect. Like you, they are human and they face challenges. Keep this in mind when you are in the midst of a problem, and remember that this moment is fleeting and will pass. Every problem we face, we overcome eventually. Trust that the solution will come and allow yourself to be happy at the moment despite the struggle.
With this in mind, turn your attention toward the good in your life. Every day take a few minutes to list at least three things you are grateful for. Make sure to take several deep soothing breaths, consider your blessings, and release the struggle. The solution will come, even if it doesn’t seem like it at the moment.
I hope this helps and I hope you feel better soon.
Best wishes,
~ Lexis
Lexis is Alexis Rae Baker. She writes from her home in Olympia. Got a question about life, relationships, spirit? Visit her at lexisrae.com or write to Lexis at Lexis@theJOLTnews.com
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CarolynT
Some of the responses I see on here, frankly, "boil my beans!". Now, Lexis, I get that you have a lot of pressure to turn in a decent, un-biased, thought provoking and hopefully useful article. An article that you have been chosen to create. Here, you have the chance to give your reader(s) a little something to "hold onto". Something to 'think about' next time they have reason to recall your 'witty banter'.
Please, honey... Next time you go to write your article, put some thought into it. I feel like I got nothing from what you wrote. Nothing. Which makes all your words seem like a waste of my time.
Why not point at the obvious? People today have become 'selfish' and 'judgy'. If they don't have someone to compare to - whether it be themselves or someone else - they simply lose interest. If they don't have someone to look down upon, they don't feel worthy. May I suggest "stepping outside ourselves" because only the good Lord in Heaven should be doing any judging. Not me. Not you.
What we all need is to find ways to come together! To bond, to exercise love and patience, compassion and empathy. There is great joy in simply doing something kind for someone else. It's sad that more of us don't freely commit 'random acts of kindness'. If we did, I bet depression and suicide wouldn't be so prevalent.
Favorite Quotes:
"Soul-food grows in the most peculiar places".
"Our Heavenly Father loves us UNconditionally".
"There are as many ways to look at things - as there are things to look at."
Monday, March 7, 2022 Report this