Opinions: The good, the bad and the ugly

Glenn Harper

Gloria Towne | All Around Towne Photography

We are awash in opinions in the “mediasphere.” Everywhere you turn individuals, pundits and panelists are holding forth, each seeking to have their opinions prevail in the discussion. While it can seem that opinions are trivial matters, collectively they are of huge importance in the objective world we inhabit. 

According to Merriam-Webster, an opinion is  a “belief stronger than impression and less strong than positive knowledge.”  The word belief comes from old Germanic roots meaning "to hold dear, esteem, or trust," which shares a deep ancestry with the root for "love."

It is easy to understand how we can get attached to opinions, but it is worth examining the consequences. 

The good 

Sharing opinions is a quick way to get an assessment when we meet a new person. If we share opinions about how we see the world and our role in it, we can move forward in the relationship. If opinions are too opposed, we can cut our losses and move on. 

Comparing opinions can be the a source of great conversations and deepening connections, as we learn about the inner worlds of our neighbors. Our identities are largely formed by our collection of opinions. 

A great thing about opinions is that they can be changed, if we’re conscious of them. 

A recent Yale study (1) concludes, “Thinking positively about getting older extends one’s life by seven-and-one half years, which is more than the longevity gained from low blood pressure or low cholesterol or by maintaining a healthy weight, abstaining from smoking and exercising regularly”  

An opinion can be regarded as a viewpoint, a perspective from which a thing is viewed. Aging can be regarded as an awful affliction and the source of endless dissatisfactions, or reaching elderhood can be viewed as a gift that not everyone has the privilege to enjoy. 

Instead of each new day being one more ordeal to slog through, maybe think of it as one less precious day you have to experience this amazing living world. 

Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “People do not seem to realize that their opinion of the world is also a confession of character.” 

The ability to change our perspective and alter our experience of life for the better is definitely a good thing. 

The bad 

Most of us are familiar with the saying, "Opinions are like bungholes, everyone has one." I suggest another similarity is that one should read the room before venting either, otherwise the whole atmosphere can turn unpleasant. 

A majority of what we see in all forms of media is conflict and/or competition in some form or fashion and we’re encouraged to weigh in on one side or another. Before you know it, criticisms of the side you chose are criticisms against you personally and now you must defend a position that you didn’t consciously choose. We have our fears and mistrusts stirred up, and then we’re given a false choice of extreme positions guiding us to choose the side supported by the sponsor of the programming. 

Without realizing it, we can become triggered when someone at a social gathering says something unflattering about our “side.” Suddenly, we are in opposition to not only strangers at parties, but to our own family and friends. This unnecessary animosity is what grieves me most about the present media environment. 

The ugly 

As if it weren’t bad enough that strong opinions are wreaking havoc with our individual familial and friendship relationships, harmful opinions can spread more easily and rapidly than a virus — hence the term "going viral." We are at this very moment literally in a media war of opinions over viruses and vaccines! 

 Which leads me to this: Every war that has ever been fought has been over matters of opinion. If enough people share an opinion strongly enough, they will risk their country and their very lives defending it. Intellectual abstractions like the correct religion, economic system or electoral process become motive forces behind war and cause catastrophic damage in the physical world. 

I propose we frequently examine our opinions and resolve to be open to thinking that we might be mistaken, or at least not in possession of the entire truth. Is it better to prevail in an argument, or to be at peace with people as they are, delusions and all? I prefer to be happy rather than right, but that’s just my opinion. 

To that end, if you’d like help in resolving disputes and maintaining peaceful relationships, click here to visit the Dispute Resolution Center of Thurston County. 

Glenn Harper provides support in aging and end of life. He is Chair of the Lewis-Mason-Thurston Area Agency on Aging Advisory Council and board member of the Senior Action Network.  He facilitates several free Death Cafe and Elderhood Roundtable gatherings in the area where Elders are invited to talk about difficult topics in a nonjudgmental space. Learn more about these events here.