Replacing a fallen tree

Trish Lynn and Thom Donitz with friends.

The JOLT News Staff

Almost all of us have heard it (yes, pun intended), the famous philosophical quote that — “If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?” — which raises the questions of whether an event exists independently of perception or does that event exist solely because it is perceived? 

In the scenario presented to Thom there was absolutely no question of sound production when his combined weight of 40-plus pounds of cats raced to their favorite cat tree of which the highest perch was limited to just one of them.

At one time he had possessed two identical trees to eliminate this very problem but, having donated one to a friend’s cats, he was now faced with this daily ritual of the race to the top.

He had already placed the tree closer to the back of one of his couches in the hope that it might slow down their take off speed but to no avail. Even placing several heavy animal statues on the base to help provide stability had no effect. 

And then the inevitable happened. No dark and stormy night as it was a calm clear morning, sun shining brightly and no breeze. While looking out his kitchen window while washing dishes, Thom took in the beauty of his azaleas and dogwood blooming, the squirrels, scrub jays and other various birds enjoying their morning breakfast when ...

Snap, crackle, crash!

Thom’s tallest cat tree, complete with cubby, listed as one of the historical sites in his home, favorite spot of generations of Thom’s cats, now lay in ruins. The perpetrators of such a dastardly event were nowhere to be seen.  

The first rule of investigation is to cordon off the crime scene, so as not to contaminate the evidence. Thom then attempted to question the witnesses but, from under the bed, they stated they had no idea what had happened and, if possible, could they please have tuna for lunch? 

Thom, having considerable knowledge from watching numerous forensic crime and disaster shows, attempted to determine exactly why the cat tree had failed and if there was any hope in restoring this central part of his living room landscape. 

The first thing he determined was that all the physical connections, hex head bolts and connectors, were intact and working. Combing the debris field in hopes of being able to reconstruct the failed section, he began to accumulate what he suspected was the culprit: particle board stressed beyond its two to three years under normal use light to normal loads.

While your average cat tree is covered in carpet with unoiled sisal rope for scratching purposes, it is almost always framed with particle board. The thickness in this case was a one-half inch at the load bearing connector point for the upper perch.

The design is made for a more evenly spread out load and not a concentrated one that put stress on a specific area, but the connecting points from mid points to upper perches had exactly the opposite effect by placing the entire stress load onto a  1 inch square section of the particle board. 

Previous cats using the tree were in the 12 to 15 pounds range and being the sole cat, were in no hurry to reach the top. That had all changed with the arrival of Oscar, the Maine Coon, and Pekan, the large Orange Tabby. 

A 20-pound cat can typically run anywhere from 20 up to 30 miles an hour. Then based upon the principle that impact force is equal to weight multiplied by speed we can now use the calculation as follows: 

Weight: 20 pounds x Speed: 30 miles per hour = Impact Force: 600 pounds x Two Cats: = 1,200 pounds 

Thom’s feeble attempt to provide stability by weighing down the base only hastened the inevitable demise of the tree. From the moment the tree left the factory, like the Titanic, she was doomed. 

Despite performing his forensic examination of the crime scene, Thom, abandoning all logic, thought he might possibly resurrect the tree. Looked into bolts, lock washers, additional particle board, carpeting, new sisal rope, etc.

Aww, heck with it. Looked online and found a double side by side perch so no arguing, not quite as high, solid wood with carpeting (no particle board) and an extra wide base for stability for large cats. 

Now if you will excuse Thom, he needs to open a can of tuna. 

Paws for thoughts

“No matter how much cats fight, there always seem to be plenty of kittens” – Abraham Lincoln 

Thom Donitz and Trish Lynn are neighbors and close friends who share their love of animals and wildlife. Trish and Thom are residents of Tumwater. Contact them at  pets@theJOLTnews.com.