Advice from A Lexis

Who are you and what do you want?


Dear JOLT Readers,

I know it’s been a tough year for a lot of us and that we’re all trying to find a way forward from here.

Who knows what the new normal will be?  An uncertain future can be scary, but as long as we keep pushing forward things will settle down.

And while this may not have been the best year of your life, this event has presented us all with an opportunity to reevaluate and explore. Many of us have lost jobs, missed birthdays, or struggled with a sense of hopelessness; but all of these experiences offer us the chance to ask, “What is really important to me?” By confronting this kind of question, however challenging the circumstance, we can make drastic improvements within our own lives.

Perhaps the greatest opportunity for growth comes in the chance to learn about who you really are and what you really want. Oftentimes, people tell us to go for what we want, to do what we’re passionate about, but never really give us much guidance on exactly how to accomplish these things. Figuring out what you want sounds so easy but, in the end, most people actually struggle with finding that out.

The reason why figuring out what you want is so hard is because we grow up in a society that thrusts its ideals upon us, even discouraging us know our own minds. We pursue what we’re told we should want not realizing, before it’s too late, that it isn’t what we actually care about.

Thankfully, if we want to figure this out, there are three tools that can help us start to understand ourselves better.

  1. Meditation

You may be annoyed by my insistence on meditation but it really does seem to be something of a cure-all. Meditation can help with your physical health, mental health, and problem-solving. There really isn’t much it doesn’t help with.

A product I recently started using in regard to meditation is called EquiSync and it utilizes binaural beats to help you enter a meditative state faster. It’s certainly not required, but I’ve been impressed by the plethora of information offered on their website and the effectiveness of the tracks.

  1. Visualization

My husband and I started reading The Success Principles, by Jack Canfield, recently and he describes how effective visualization can be within our lives in regard to getting what we want. However, visualization is also amazing for figuring out what we really want because it gives us an opportunity to play out scenarios of our desires.

By imagining how we would react to getting what we want, we can determine if the results actually bring us the kind of fulfillment we are hoping for. As you continue to play out different scenarios, you start to whittle what you want down to what is truly important, and you may be surprised at how simple your desires actually are.

  1. Self-Assessments

I was recently introduced to an app called SpikeView. It’s designed to help teens and college students find internships and jobs via portfolio creation. The point of the app is to highlight the best attributes of the individual so that they can better display what makes them a good fit for their chosen field. It’s a wonderful concept, one that I think many would benefit from, but the greatest benefit of this app is its focus on helping the user analyze and organize their interests, habits, skills, and projects. By looking at these aspects, people can start to consider where different aspects of their lives overlap and in which avenues they find the most joy.

Another assessment tool I’ve utilized is the Self Authoring Program. In this program, you write about your past, present, and future in an effort to better understand what has happened in your life that shapes your behavior and what desires drive you forward toward tomorrow.

Figuring out who you are and what you want may not be the easiest thing in the world, but it’s well worth the effort. Not knowing yourself can lead to all kinds of problems in your relationships and life. By taking this opportunity to evaluate your life, you might just be saving yourself years of struggle and confusion.

Let this challenging time be a catalyst for change in your life and I’m sure you will see a drastic improvement in the days ahead.

Best of luck,

          ~ Lexis 

Lexis is Alexis Baker, who writes from her home in Olympia.  What would you like to ask her to comment about?  Write to her at 


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  • franiazgorski

    That was pretty insight and helpful.. .. “What is really important to me?” . This question will cetainly determine who I will or won't work for next .. .. what organizations to wash ur hands of... and what matters and does not...

    Monday, May 31, 2021 Report this